Thursday, October 29, 2009


I spoke too soon on the whole "god help me if there is a blizzard before I leave" thing. I cannot honestly believe I am living through this again.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Note to self.

I honestly cannot believe I'm seeing goddamned snow fall outside. And for like the fifth time this month. Last time I checked, this is October, not December.

I am making a note-to-self about my new "weather safe-zone" here in Colorado. I used to think that maybe about the middle or end of April until about late November would be relatively safe for me to avoid the bulk of the cold and crappy weather in Colorado. Well, woe is me, I have made a foolish mistake! I am realizing that my new "weather safe-zone" in Colorado has shrunk to June through September. That's right, summer, and summer only. This stupid fall, and I know stupid spring, can be just as gnarly as the beast winter itself. I mean what's the point of naming these seasons separately anyways. I shall start to call them cold unpredictable crap and summer.

I know that me being in Colorado right now was very unexpected, unplanned and to be honest, undesired. I would be in the deserts of Egypt right now if the stupid Mauritanians would have settled down in order to keep my sister from being sent home from her Peace Corps service, ultimately canceling my trip to see her. However, I will never, ever, ever again plan to come to Colorado so late in the summer, lest I have to unexpectedly stay once again. June til September, that's all I can do.

I am a mostly a commitment-phobe, but one thing I have no problem commiting to is never being in the cold again. I am currently counting down the days until I go to the fabled "land of no snow" yet again, which happens to be what I call wherever I end up going to avoid this unbelievably annoying and inconvenient weather. I have 24 days, and I leave very early on that 24th day. God help me if I am in a real blizzard before this time.

I quote a client from work when I say, "That Al Gore is full of crap". I called it years ago when I said that Denver is the only place on Earth that global warming is making colder. And I have to say to all the idiots that ask me where I'm from and then wonder why I haven't "gotten used to it"(it being the godforsaken cold), what about cold weather is there to "get used to"? The teary stinging eyes from the cold air? Dressing like a complete fool to stay warm? Being unable to move outdoors in an effort to avoid one's skin from contacting the cold air? Idiots! To the people who ask me if I ski(apparently a reason to like winter), who the hell skis in Denver?! One must go to the mountains for that, so winter in the city is totally useless. Clearly these peoples brains have been frozen from too many cold days.

I do love Colorado, but the cold weather makes me hate Colorado. I don't want to hate Colorado. In order to not hate Colorado, June til September.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

A thank you.

As I kill time here tonight entertaining myself with the rants and raves section of craigslist, I have to say thank you to the one who posted that there is a website called

It will likely offend most of you, but is the funniest thing I have seen the internet do in a while.

Thank you crazy craigslist rant n' raver! I am happy we both have nothing to do tonight!