I'm getting old.

I just have to have a bit about the horribleness of American hip-hop videos. As I work in the barber shop we sometimes have videos playing on the TVs. We don't listen to the music(thank you baby Jesus), but seeing the videos is bad enough. I really want to ask these guys making these horrific hip-hop videos if they actually think that showing their ugly bling, jumping around, and barely clothed women dancing like whores is original. Have these guys ever watched any other videos?

The exchange goes something like this:

Person 1: "What should we have in the video guys?"

Person 2: "Oh, oh, I know, we can have a really cool car, some babes acting slutty, and maybe those diamonds I bought last week wit my check from the record company. I'll wear my best t-shirt."

Person 1: "You are a genius. Let's not forget the party scene either!"

I swear if I see one more "rapper" covered in like fourteen women, sitting in his way-too-expensive car, moving his hands back and forth on his invisible turn tables, bobbing his head up and down to some over produced track, wearing clothes that don't fit him, I will cry myself to sleep in the fetal position. One is inclined to wonder that if these guys can afford such luxuries as diamonds and fast cars, that they might also afford clothes that fit. I mean if you have millions of dollars why are you still dressing in baggy t-shirts, baseball caps and enormous pants? Hire a personal stylist loser.

This is surely a combination of being out of the country for a while, thus having culture shock, and getting old. I find myself hypnotized by the absolute shitiness of these videos when they are playing. I can't look away but it hurts to keep watching. It's like when these "artists" get money, they get even stupider than they were before.

Then I see men and boys walking through the city every day dressed like these style-less wonders whom happened to make it big. I ask myself every time I see them, "Do they realize those pants are for someone who is like 300lbs.? Did the poor thing used to be all chubby and just lost weight but can't afford new pants?". Somehow I think the answer no. I also wonder if these guys know that the brim of a hat is made to block the sun from one's eyes, not one of their ears.

Don't get me wrong here, I absolutely love hip-hop and rap music. But it makes me mad to see this mainstream crap that gives this genre of music it's bad name and appearance. The hip-hop and rap on TV and is so unbelievably bad. Remember good groups like The Beasite Boys, Run DMC, and Outkast? That is the real deal. And what about Eric B. and Rakim? Hell yeah! Mary J. Blige is a class act as well. These groups and individuals help make hip-hop and rap what is truly is, art. Anyone seen "Sensual Seduction" video that Snoop Dogg came out with a couple years ago? Now that is original!

So I suppose I feel a little bit better and I'm sure I'm not alone in my feelings here. I could care less who agrees or not, this is my blog and I must fill it up with my old lady ranting and raving.

Pull your pants up boys, go to the store and have a tailor measure you. Then buy some clothes for your poor, naked, dancing girlfriend.

Behind the chair.

Being back working in USA, I find myself totally enchanted with being surrounded by hair stylists again. The hair stylist culture is pure fun, if not overly dramatic, properly sassified, laced with a deep obsession for what we do, and ample shit talking. I have no problem jumping back in head first(no pun intended).

Working on people's hair is nothing short of one of the deepest levels of human contact. We are changing a person's appearance and that is not to be taken lightly. Not to mention, we do it with very sharp instruments. The only other professions to level this are doctors and tattoo artists. On this short list, barbers and hair stylists are the most fun.

Our days are filled with, when not cutting, staring out the window and completely judging everyone's appearance walking by, fashion sense, clothes, manner of walking or driving, and the like. This alone can be hours of fun, usually limited to only minutes as we are busy folk whom like to stay busy. We flirt endlessly with each other, no matter the sex of the flirter or flirtee, sexual orientation(of course our industry is famous for it's high percentage of gay men), or marital status. The flirting is harmless, always fun, and if ever acted out would probably be kind of sick. We are always talking about each others hair; what is different, what could be different, and what should be different. This leads us to frequently changing our hair, one of the hair stylists leading personal features.

Then, of course, there is the famous shop gossip. Not only do we talk to each other, we talk about each other. I work for a very large company with many shops around town. There is always something new, somebody new, something old making a return(yours truly), and all the drama we would ever need to fuel the gossip fire every chance we get. The large majority of this is done in a positive light, mostly catching up on our friends and coworkers dramas, but every now and then, there is some ugly slung around. "Did you hear about. . .?!?" I love it!

There is the occasional client lust as well. We have all fallen in love with either one of our own clients or the client of another. This love lasts usually 20 to 30 minutes, the length of a hair cut. As soon as one's hot client leaves, a look is shot across the shop at the stylist whom had the pleasure. The look that screams "I love him!", and we carry about our day. We are however, endlessly professional and likely most hot men that come in the shop have no idea we are looking. We have years of skill at checking out clients whilst remaining completely sly, I mean professional. I will say that I absolutely love being at a job where men endlessly walk through the door, paying us to make them even more handsome. It's great.

Our hair stylist talk, or way of talking is perfected. We are masters at phrases like: "Ewwwwww!" or "Yuuuuuck,", "Oh my God. . .", "Did you see what he/she was wearing?!", "Look at his/her hair!(whilst pointing spasticly and cringing)", "What is that smell?!?". The list is endless, we truly have perfected a dramatic flair to practically every single little thing we talk about.

When it comes to technical work for busy bodies, haircutting, hair styling, and barbering suits us to a "T". For those of us to whom hair is the end all be all of existence, we are insane perfectionists, almost to a fault. There is nothing more satisfying to me professionally than obsessing over a tight fade until it is seamless, checking it in the mirror, and obsessing some more. It is amazing sometimes to watch others at work; watch their techniques, ways of standing, moving their bodies, shears, clippers, combs. This is not to say all hair stylists are as into what they do as I am. We have all had or seen horrible haircuts. To this unfortunate happening, I am privy everyday. But then I get to fix them!

We actually have the best job in the world. We leave every day with cash in hand, we get to make the world a better place to look at, and to smell(for the stinky headed clients). We get to feed the unforgiving human desire to gossip, chat and basically communicate. We get to cure dry scalp. We get to laugh a lot, we get to work with all walks of life, coworkers and clients. We get to help people. It is amazing sometimes to see a person's whole demeanor change after they look in the mirror after being pampered for a while and see something they like, a lot. It is downright inspiring. Sometimes the change in demeanor comes from the simple fact that someone is touching them and listening to them while they blab about whatever. Sometimes the change in demeanor is from the fact that they got to just sit and say nothing for a half hour. This is truly a powerful interaction we are having with people every single day, many times a day. Makes up for all the hair splinters, sore backs, cut fingers, hair filled t-shirts, etc, etc.

I am so lucky to have ended up as a barber, I wouldn't change it for the world. I don't have to either, I have the world from barbering. I was made for this stuff.

RTD

I am completely convinced that there is a bad body odor requirement in order to ride public transportation here in Denver. I don't know what short circuits in these peoples brains and/or hygiene habits that leads them to share their filth with me on the bus, but yuck. I would think that if one is so inclined to sit on a mobile cubicle of stink, in the close company of others, that one would be so kind as to shower and clean one's clothes at least once a week. Maybe even a haircut too, but that's just the barber in me talking. Then again, I suppose a haircut would require washing one's hair, clearly too much to ask.

However, I wouldn't trade it for the insanity of driving.

Let the madness ensue!

Spent the better part of the last week and a half in the mountains of Colorado, Keystone specifically, with my family, reunionizing. Good times had by all, if not the greatest reminder of my life to never have children. Don't get me wrong here, I love the nieces and nephews(seven in total), I'm just ever so glad to leave them and have my days free of children throwing fits over not having chocolate cake, and the like.

If anything was worth it, it was the classic one-liners. Things came out of the mouths of these children like, "I like nightmares"(yeah, right!), "I want the needle!"(spoken upon sliver removing), and "Mom, how do you spell PJ?". And when told that there was no peeing allowed in the hot tub, a response of "Why?!" by my six-year-old niece was truly classic. There were so many others, but most went the way of the dinosaurs as it's hard to remember something when you are laughing so hard you can't see.

Being in the mountains, I thought I'd be on my bike every single day. But then I remembered that the weather in the mountains is "cold", and I only rode once. I, however, had a very important job of staying in my pajamas all day, holding couches down, feeding nieces and nephews candy and cookies all hours of the day, and making sure the hot tub didn't feel left out of the family fun. Plus my family has a knack for putting off haircuts until they can see me. Honestly, it's something I enjoy. I got to give my 3-year-old niece her very first haircut of her little life. Yay!

Another hilarious, unexpected happening, was the regression back to one's childhood years whilst amongst all brothers, sisters, and parents. I found it to be so funny that myself and my siblings acted as if we were all kids again. The ever present sibling rivalry included, but was not limited to, name calling, shit-talking, hair pulling, teasing someone while they were sleeping or napping, fighting over what to watch on TV, and the best part, poking someone if they bent over in front of you. All of the previously listed events were followed by running to the parents and telling on the offending brother or sister. Sounds normal amongst actual children, but we are all older than 25. Good times.

We ate like kings, if kings eat like they haven't eaten in a year. Everyone had a day or a meal or whatever that they had to cover, giving a surprisingly good variety. And naturally, the last day, we ate as many leftovers as we could shove our already over-full bellies.

No major fights, no major injuries, no pooping or peeing in the hot tub(at least that we were aware of). Family reunion 2009: Deemed a success.

I can wait until next time.

Pedal power.

As I ride myself to death every single day here in Denver, I notice something. Surely some of the drivers in the passing cars are a bit envious and would love to be on their bicycles as well. I mean the weather has been amazing. I can tell by the way they look at me(maybe they are just staring at the spandex). However, whilst riding, I never find myself wishing I was in a car. Ha, ha, suckers! Hope you enjoy getting fat and mad in your car as much as I enjoy laughing at you.

How a day can change a lifetime.

It is so very good to be home. The weather is about perfect, in fact, it is perfect. I forget how amazing Colorado is! I have been riding my bike every single day, which is to make it sound like I have been here some great amount of time already. I'm working on my fourth day. . .

Really, though, I have been in USA barely more than three days, and it might as well be three since I write this in the morning. Considering all that has happened for me since arriving, I feel like I've been here for two or three weeks.

Upon arrival on Friday night, my bicycle did not arrive with all my other luggage from Miami. I had picked it up in Miami to go through customs, but it did not arrive in Denver. Strike one! No big deal, it was still in Miami and scheduled to arrive the next morning. The best thing about lost or late luggage is that it is delivered directly to your house. Fine by me, they can lug around that 60lb. box, making me feel like I got my $112 worth for the extra luggage fee.

On Saturday, I promptly woke up(whatever that means)and rode to meet my friend to attend our friend's memorial service, the whole reason I arrived early anyway. In a stunning setting in the mountains of Colorado Springs, we all remembered our friend whom died a tragic death on his mission to disappear in the mountains of southern Colorado to starve himself to death. The reception following was equally as beautiful, if not extremely trying as I was one of the few to see the very last video he made of himself before he died. Seeing someone you care about make a final goodbye to all after forty days of not eating is heart wrenching. Needless to say I did not sleep much on Saturday night. I am comforted by the fact that he died in a beautiful setting, on his own terms. He taught many people many things, was brilliant, talented, hilarious, and unfortunately, troubled. You will be missed Branko.

Upon arriving home on Saturday night, I was informed that things with my sister are totally up in the air with her Peace Corps service due to violence in her country. What this means for me is that I am now likely taking another solo trip. This trip I have planned to Africa was to visit and travel with her, but if she is removed from her country due to dangerous situations, I will be traveling alone. Just another major life change all in one day, no big deal(!!!).

Still on Saturday. Barely back 24 hours at this point. Late at night, I met up with somebody whom I was very close with last summer before I left to do this whole Guatemala thing. As I was away the past eight months, I realized how strong my feelings are for this person and we met up to talk it out. I had been holding these things in for a while and was very excited to see him and to get it off my chest, finally! Well, an hour later, I walked away, with tears in my eyes, heart broken. We had been in very close contact while I was away and I was certain he felt the same way. The last month before I came home he suddenly became very distant, and confirmed to me that yes, he had felt the same way, but things for him had changed, and he was moving on. I guess that now I also have no choice but to move on.

Nothing like taking care of business all at once though. All this happening in my first day back is overwhelming, but prevents it from being dragged out. There is something to be said for that.

In light of information about my sister, I'm thinking to b-line it to Spain upon arrival to Morocco. Kinda had my fill of third world countries right now, and hey, I speak the language. Woo hoo for Spanish! Really, though, the last thing I want right now is to wander a Muslim desert country in the middle of Ramadan, the Muslim month of fasting, where everything shuts down. I know more details than I am dishing, out of respect for my sister's request for privacy on this matter.

I have never, ever, ever, had a trip go as planned, and the changes almost always come right before I leave. This is nothing new for me to deal with, and honestly I am excited. I am looking forward to spending time alone, believe it or not. And I am totally stoked to go to Spain. I have always wanted to go, but Europe is so expensive I have avoided it. This is some fateful way of getting me there anyways. Maybe I won't come back ;) Who knows what will happen for me as a result of the life-changing day I went through upon arrival last week . . .

Until then, however, I am enjoying time with my family, friends, and road bike. I have a family reunion coming up in Keystone the last week of August, which I am looking forward to immensely. I will desperately try to maintain a relatively low profile to avoid any more major happenings. I've been here three and a half days, I have three weeks more to go, I already need a break.

Parting words.

Well, another photo-less post. Old school!

I am leaving San Pedro tomorrow, paid way too much for a private shuttle to shuttle me and all my crap(including my bike)to Antigua for the night then on to my flight on Friday morning. I changed my ticket, for a small fortune, to attend a friends memorial service on Saturday.

It has felt totally like a whirlwind the past few days, and especially today as I am packing up my room I have lived in for the past eight months. I am ready to leave, something I did not think I would ever feel about this place. When I arrived I was so desparately in love with the lake and the mountains, I did not know if I could ever leave. I am grateful to be feeling totally at peace with this decision.

I have barely had time to think about all the things I will miss here, certainly there are plenty. But there is also many things I will not miss about this place, including the unsafe feeling I have every single place I go. And I will never, ever miss being ripped off for being a gringa. I cannot wait to shop in places where the prices are marked, and the same for people of all races. Yay! I shopped yesterday with two of my girlfriends that are here visiting, and by the end of the day, I was exhausted from yelling at merchants for quoting the most obscene prices. But we sure got some good stuff.

I packed my bicycle up earlier today, my biggest stress, and am kind of taking a break from finishing off packing the other things. Really it is very strange. I feel like I have been here for one month, not eight. I also know that after some time reflecting, many things will make more sense to me. I know I will learn the most from my time here as I reflect on it, and travel on to other cultures. I have no regrets, I am very grateful for my time here, I have learned so much!!

Traveling with my brother for a few weeks away from San Pedro gave me a more centered perspective than I had shortly after I was robbed and so upset. This place is not completely bad. It is real, like every other place. People arrive here, myself included, and are so charmed, thinking we have found the most tranquilo place on Earth. "How could anything ever be bad here, it is so beautiful!!!" is what I used to think. Then after a while, you just realize it is a normal town, and one with a lot of poverty.

I guess thats what I have to say as I try and focus on something for more than six seconds. There is really too much to try and communicate! This life change is not something I have ever gone through, and as usual, came very unexpectedly. I would have it no other way.

I will be back in United States on Friday, feeling like I went through a time warp. See you then!