Wednesday, February 16, 2011

How to use a Japanese toilet.

After only a few days in Japan, I am coming to realize that Japanese signage has got to be some of the most comedic in all the land. I find myself taking pictures of signs more than almost anything else. And thank heavens that there is an instructional for how to use a Japanese style toilet. As modeled above, squat like this.
The Japanese use cartoon characters to model almost anything. Which is very fitting since the people here are as cute as cartoon characters. I do believe the above says something to the tune of "Look how cute we are". I mean, what else could it possibly say?
There is only one supremely jackass thing to say about this sign, that's what she said.
If the Japanese had any idea how much crappy fast food Americans eat, I'm not so sure they would want the wind from America. But, alas, they love our kitchy imported trinkets.
Okinawa Island has a very deadly species of snake called Habu, and fittingly there is a lot of signage to warn of their dangers. In this case, it is obvious that if you should come across one, a sweet, old Japanese lady with a chopstick in her hair will shake it to death for you. How kind of her!
There was debate between my brother and I as to what this sign was trying to enforce. Brady tells me it clearly requests not to pull the flowers, as I assumed it was a sign telling all to not pee in the bushes. To each his own.
This sign was on the inside of a toilet seat in a bathroom I barely fit in. It is not necessary to read Japanese to understand that this is a clear instructional on how to properly use a toilet seat. To stand and pee, lift both seat and lid. To sit and pee, or otherwise, lift only the lid and sit on the seat. If only this sign was on every single toilet in the world, men just might stop peeing on the seat. Wait, certainly they would still biff it up. . .

This sign makes me desperately wish I could read Japanese. Posted by the beach it is assumed that it reads something along these lines: Should one encounter shark fins, splash like a mad man after drawing a massive X on your forehead and then follow the arrows in the waves towards the Japanese writing. Thousands of lives are saved everyday by this!


  1. Classic "Sarah" stuff. Laughing my ass off!! Thanks, my evil spawn!!!

  2. Sweeeet! I'm with you: Don't Pee In the Bushes,

  3. This came to me in a dream. . . On the "peeing" sign, you're all wrong. Clearly it says that if you are a male and you spend too much time walking through floral areas, your right ear falls off, your hair grows down to cover up the hole, your nose disappears and your unit turns into a flower and takes root in the ground, hence, the surprised look of panic/fear on his face and his reluctance to let go. Seems obvious to me!