Monday, December 30, 2013

This just happened.

I left work after a nutso crazy busy day and I was standing on the corner waiting for the light to change.  Then I see a guy in a car with his window down saying something to me.  I paused the iPod and said, "What?"  He replied, "Can I buy you a drink?"  Being of a spontaneous nature as I am, I obliged and he parked and we met at a nearby restaurant.

He was visibly nervous and I asked if that was something he normally does, asking women out that are standing on the street corner.  He told me no.  We chatted for a few awkward minutes and then I was prompted to ask, "So, do you have a family?"  He sort of looked at me slightly taken aback and responded, "What do you mean?"

"Do you have a wife and kids?"

"Um, how did you know that?"  Really?  It's called intuition you mother fucker.  Us women have it and idiot men such as yourselves probably can't even spell it.

I responded, "Well I've got to make sure, you know."  And aren't I glad I did. 

I was not attracted to this man, but I am open to new experiences which is why I accepted his invitation for a drink in the first place.  However, having an affair, or whatever the fuck he was looking for is not a new experience I'm open to in the least.  I proceeded to ask him what his wife would think of him doing what he did and he answered the obvious answer; she would be quite put off.  So then I asked him why he did it, why he invited me to a drink on the street corner.  This was his literal reply, "Well, it's sort of like playing basketball", implying that it was something he did for kicks.  No, not it's not anything like playing basketball you son of a bitch.  If he's so "happily married" as he told me he was, then I have no desire for a "happy" marriage.   

I basically barraged him with questions about his family for the next ten minutes and then told him I was gonna head home.  I could tell he was ready to leave as well, not that I cared what this scum was wanting or not.

So, yeah, this just happened:  I got asked out by a married Jewish guy with three kids and his poor wifey waiting for him to come home.  Wowza.

And to finish it off, as I turned to walk home again to my apartment, I pushed play on the iPod and the very first lyrics I heard in the middle of the song I was jamming were, "Don't be sad, won't ever happen like this anymore"(thank you Julian Casablancas).  And with a shit eating grin on my face I strolled home.  I knew it would never happen like this anymore.   

1 comment: