Tuesday, November 5, 2013


There's something about me that likely only my closest friends know about me, and now it will be spelled out in great detail for all the rest of you.  One of my all time favorite musical artists is CeeLo Green.  I'm sure the name is familiar to almost everyone at this point in time, but I've been a fan of all things CeeLo since I first heard him with OutKast.  

I remember wondering who was the strange man must be behind that ultra-unique voice singing very meaningful, beautiful lyrics.  I'm certain that it was very plausibly the song "Git up, Git out" on OutKast's classic first album Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik that really struck me with CeeLo for the first time.  CeeLo is not a member of OutKast but has collaborated with them from the beginning, them all being from Atlanta and all.  The majority of the song "Git up, Git out" is performed entirely by CeeLo and the lyrics are very real, and quite powerful about how life was for those guys back in the early 90's.  CeeLo sings and raps on this track which very clearly demonstrates his range of vocal talent; he encourages positivity and activism through struggles which makes his voice even more appealing to listen to. 

There is never any doubt that it's CeeLo when it's him on a musical track.  His voice is unmistakable.  And he has blessed the world by collaborating with damn near every artist ever.  I exaggerate, yes.  But the guy seems to be on some of the most popular music of modern times, and conversely he's on some of the most obscure music ever, not to mention the collection of solo stuff he's made over the years.  His beginnings in Atlanta in the early 90's with Goodie Mob is something that most 2013 fans of CeeLo Green might not even be aware of.  He's since collaborated with others such as Bruno Mars, Trick Daddy, Timbaland, the list goes on.  I also remember being totally shocked when I realized that it was CeeLo singing in yet another well played collaboration with DJ Danger Mouse to produce the phenomena that was Gnarls Barkley.  Of course it was, who else could make music sound like that?  

CeeLo is profound and versatile when he applies his musical gifts.  He raps, he sings, he pours his soul into all of it and he owns it.  CeeLo doesn't waste his time with useless lyrics.  He knows he has a message to get across and he says it like it is.  It is this message that got me fully hooked on anything that CeeLo does as an artist.  Knowing he doesn't sing useless stuff, knowing I have yet to ever be disappointed by this genius, I'll get my hands on anything with CeeLo. 

There's a twist to this CeeLo story and here it comes.  CeeLo not only has made plenty of music, he also stars on The Voice as a coach for up and coming musical talents.  When I lived in Los Angeles, I had a couple of girlfriends who got me hooked on the show and I gladly watched and got all into it mostly so I could crush on CeeLo.  I loved watching him with his smooth talking, calm but strong demeanor, and his flirty, sexy ways.  Oh wee, girl!  Too much, I love the man!

Well it came around that the Jen's(two friends, same name)and I got some tickets to go watch and be a part of a recording of The Voice.  We waited in line for like six hours and then I got to see my hero and my celebrity crush in the flesh.  We actually went twice to a taping, but it's only the second time that counts and I'll tell you why.  When the taping of the second show was over and the studio was emptying out section by section we were some of the last ones out.  As we passed right by the stage, CeeLo was still in his coaching chair and I knew it was my chance, now or never.  I yelled out, "Marry me CeeLo!", and what do ya know, he turned his head right at me and smiled his gorgeous smile while I pointed at myself and yelled again, "Me!  Marry me!".  As I had his attention, I made a heart with my hands and he made one back at me.  What?!  Was this really happening?  And in the midst of it all, as I had CeeLo's full attention during my marriage proposal, I turned to my girlfriends giggling and said to them, "He said yes!" and we walked out of the studio.  That's right friend of barbers without borders, I turned and ran away right after asking CeeLo to marry me, didn't really give him a chance to answer.  Idiot!  I had to forgive myself for that one.  It wasn't easy.

So that was slightly painful for a bit, but I haven't ceased to love CeeLo any less, in fact it really only gets stronger every day.  I recently had another chance of a lifetime to see CeeLo again, here in Denver, and not just CeeLo, but the entire Goodie Mob.  Okay, I'm gonna get really real with you all right this second:  My favorite music of all time is rap music from Atlanta from the early 90's.  This means that one of  my favorite rap groups of all time, from twenty years ago was coming to Denver.  All of which just happens to include one of the loves of my life CeeLo.  I literally had butterflies in my stomach.  I promptly bought a ticket that I paid an obscene amount for and I knew I was gonna have my chance for redemption.  I could ask CeeLo to marry me again!  Goodie Mob was performing at a small theater and if I made a big enough poster that says, "Marry me CeeLo", he would see it, remember our love in LA and swoop me up to live happily ever after.  

The show was cancelled.  I discovered this only after I had made the marry me poster, ridden my bike down to Colfax and realized there was nothing at the theater.  No people, no marquee saying "Goodie Mob", no nothing.  I had spent the afternoon getting ready in anticipation and excitement to see my love again and I was sad.  I still have the poster folded up in my closet hoping they will reschedule the show and I can finally be with my man.

I love CeeLo and everything he does.  I recently read his autobiography and it only solidified how I feel about what his gifts mean to the world and to me.  CeeLo is a prophet, a mentor and a personal hero to me.  I know that I can count on him and his music to be there anytime I need something real, or something funky, or something funny, when I need something to dance to, or perhaps something sad but with hope.  I love my silly love affair with him in my head, but don't ever doubt I would make it happen for real if I ever get the chance.  Crushes are fun.  I am so grateful to live during CeeLo's time and enjoy the fruits of his labor of love.  If I ever do get to marry CeeLo, I will be sure to tell him thank you for being there for me and so many who identify with this brilliant and passionate artist.  And if by pure chance you are really CeeLo and you are really reading this, I'm not gonna mess up this time.  Will you marry me?  Email me and we can exchange numbers.
     Lil story about this photo.  This was taken in the common room of a hostel in the Leblon neighborhood of Rio de Janiero in Brazil.  I'm all ready to head two blocks to a perfect beach on a perfect vacation and CeeLo was on the TV.  I'm bikinied out and ready to go and I see him when I knew I had pause for this great moment to get a pic of me and CeeLo in Brazil together.

I awaken to sunlight, that's beyond bright, 
This day will be done right
There's a war just waitin' on the other side of the door
But I'll be bringing God to the gunfight
Can't live forever, so have some fun right?
Life's a bowl of candy, you can have one right?
You could handle if tomorrow never come, right?
You'll get used to singin' if only for one night
Well I intend to raise two daughters and a son right
And I couldn't have wrote this if I was hopeless
You see I focus to provoke this
So open wide for my opinionated opus
I'm playin' goldfish, but not below this
Before I go I thought that you all should know this
Recognize and realize before any regrettin'
Before you relapse, perhaps you'll consider resettin'.
                                               -CeeLo Green

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