Saturday, November 23, 2013

Inescapable instinct.

Long ago I came to realize and accept that women are completely and entirely ruled by our uteruses.  Wikipedia opens its article about the uterus with this sentence:  "The uterus or womb, is a major hormone-responsive reproductive sex organ of most mammals including humans".  Major.  Hormone-responsive.  Reproductive.  Sex organ.  Say it like it is!  The thing turns sperm and blood into babies and then pushes them out.  It's unreal.  I bring it up, the uterus, for one of the major roles it plays in our day to day choices as women.

Whether we like it or not, whether we want or don't want children, or perhaps have already had them, women as a whole are obsessed with "Can the babies survive here?"  We live and die by this principle whether we are conscious of it or not, and when we are physically and mentally sound-ish.  I've seen it every day, I've lived it every day, can the babies survive here?  A broad statement, I know, but I will give a few examples and all will come to agree that women are constantly on the look out for anything and everything that could impose on the life of a child.

Women are nesters to the nth degree.  Always arranging, accommodating, and watching to see what is likely the "safest" situation in nearly all of the things we do at work or play or life in general.  It's crazy, and women are long known for being a lil crazy.  It's all good however cause it's so innocent on our part and something that is happening whether we make it so or not.  This instinct begins of course in the uterus herself, constantly fluctuating, flowing and changing in order to bring the ideal environment to the survival of babies.  The uterus then projects her agenda on everything we do, besides just have a monthly cycle, to consistently renew, review and get ready for babies anywhere we are!  Thus, we are always contemplating our external circumstances in the same order.  That sneaky uterus.  She cares alot about if the babies can survive.

In our modern world, we have become so disconnected to this core of our femininity that the uterus is just another bleeding, baby making thing that we manage.  But it's because of her that we manage at all.  Got ya there!  Back to my point.  Many, many women have no concept of the connection between the internal desire for survival of babies and that external, environmental obsession with creating it with every move we make.  We will handle some shit for sure to make it possible for the survival of babies even if there are actually babies involved or not.  I know for a fact that I have no desire for the responsibility of the survival of another creature, but I'm still on permanent look out for the survival of babies and I don't necessarily mean that literally.  Sigh.  I can't fight the force.

I joke with clients at the barber shop that men that are poorly groomed often will have a much lower chance with the ladies, for a deeper reason than the obvious.  We are obsessed with appropriate cleanliness to ensure survival and if we are near a man that is stinky, or flaky, or funky, the uterus signals, the alarm goes off and we know that the babies cannot survive here.  If this guy can't even wash himself right, well. . . The babies cannot survive here and we must decide something.  We either bail cause he's not worth it, or we clean him up over the course of a few days or weeks and suddenly the baby survival factor increases tenfold.  Why?  Cause when we get to baby the manboy and clean him all up, then he can give us a real baby!  We have a major hormone-responsive reproductive sex organ just waiting with an overflow of baby survival potential.  Hurrah!  (gagging)  And the babying never stops, not for the man, not for the baby, not for anything save death.

I could honestly care less about the survival of babies on a conscious level, but on all other levels I live for it.  Nothing makes me feel more like a woman(besides when I'm bleeding)than when I'm managing something.  My life is consumed with "Can the babies survive here?" and the fact that I intuitively became a barber to clean up them men proves that. I embrace it cause it's easier than fighting it and being a woman is like, totally great in so many ways that I'll happily let the uterus maintain control.  We joke that men think with their dicks, it's clear that thinking is quite shallow and one sided.  On the other hand, women are ruling and nurturing the world with our uteruses.  The babies will and do survive.  You're welcome.    


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